AECC Newsletters

These were written to be displayed on the toilet walls at AECC guaranteeing maximum exposure. It just so happens that my toilet humour was fitting.

Caffeine Magazine article: Cricket

A Very English Pursuit

Some of you reading this may be new to the strange and baffling country that is England, with its somewhat peculiar set of values, customs and behaviour. You may wonder about the obsession with pleases and thank-yous,  be confused by the gentle compliance to the laws of queueing, and perhaps have been on the sharp end of some dirty looks or muttered insults when you have inadvertently broken one of these incomprehensible laws of English behaviour.

Being English, I adhere strictly (and lovingly) to just about all of these unwritten rules, though I may have no idea why, and yet I find them a joy to behold. In fact, English behaviour can probably be summed up in one word: Cricket.

Cricket, for the uninitiated, is a wonderful sport. Whoever invented it was a genius, I often wonder what his thought process might have been like. “We’ll have two sets of blokes take the day off and sit outside for a bit.  We’ll start around 11am, that way everyone can have a bit of a lie in. When we’ve stood around for, ohh, I don’t know, 3 hours or so, then we’ll go in for a spot of lunch. Give it a bit longer and then we can have a cup of tea and a cake. We’ll probably stop around 7ish because everyone will have had enough and will want a beer. Oh and we won’t play if it’s raining, obviously. Or if it’s a bit dim out. Or in the winter.”

My suspicion is that cricket started as 22 blokes drinking beer with the boys every Sunday, informing their wives they were “off to play cricket”, with not a bat or ball in sight. I can only imagine the girls decided to turn up one day and demanded to know the rules, and the tipsy lads had to think on their feet, because the rules and language are somewhat absurd. If you would like a brief overview of the rules of cricket, then I can think of no better than this anonymously sourced explanation from the 1970s:

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.

Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.

See? Simple. The game gives itself away as hopelessly English by the way it is played – polite clapping at every boundary or wicket, the insistence on both sides wearing pristine cricket whites, the breaks in the game being called “lunch” and “tea” – though the pros of today typically have Gatorade and pasta rather than the tea and cakes of W.G. Grace’s day – and the lazy Sunday afternoon with which cricket is synonymous. Cricket has never suffered from the ignominy of any kind of brawl, be it with opposing players or supporters. In fact, cricket supporters typically mingle and share some light hearted banter, which is about as unpleasant as it gets on the pitch. You may have heard about the Pakistan betting scandal recently, but even then, it took an undercover reporter to dig the dirt; nobody else noticed because they were having such a lovely time.

When you’ve got a day or so to waste, consider cricket. It’s a very calming experience. Cricket might seem scary and alien at first, but give cricket a chance. It’s really rather nice.

Caffeine Magazine article: Hangovers

"To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems - Homer Simpson

Time was, students were the bright young hopes of the future: in ancient Greece academia was sacrosanct. Only the most learned young men were entitled to call themselves students, others would have to work for a living. The wisest of those would go on to achieve immortality as the greatest thinkers of their time – Archimedes, Plato, Pythagoras:  these are names that will live forever. 

These days, the entry criteria for becoming a student have become somewhat, shall we say, less stringent. In the UK, the former Labour government made a target of 50% of the population to be educated at university level. This has allowed all kinds of riff-raff into the formerly prestigious band of people termed “students”, the nadir of this process surely being Southampton university student Daniel Laing urinating on a war memorial in 2009.

 But like it or not, it seems as if the student “lash” lifestyle is here to stay, and most have chosen to join them rather than try to beat them, as the continuing popularity of the Carnage^TM branded nights out proves. This is not to say that alcohol abuse and intelligence or indeed genius are mutually exclusive – just ask Vincent Van Gogh, Ernest Hemingway, George Best, to name but three alcoholic geniuses from vastly different fields.

 But even these guys had to get up in the morning. Lord only knows what Best would have been capable of sober; but how did he drag himself out of bed? More importantly, how are you going to drag yourself out of bed for that 9am adjustive technique lab?

 Firstly, and most obviously, don’t get drunk. But you already knew that. Other preventative tips include not drinking on an empty stomach, sticking to clear alcohols, and drinking plenty of water with your alcoholic beverages. Unfortunately, I’m sure many of you will identify with the phrase “one beer is too many, and ten is not enough”. So what can you do when your gluttony gets the better of you?

 Hangover cures have been around as long as alcohol, and there are as many cures that are sworn by as there are people who have been drunk. But let’s take a look at the more popular ones and assess their pros and cons:

Big Greasy Fry Up – or the rest of that kebab, or in fact any kind of fried food. Always seems like a good idea at the time, and may give you a temporary dopamine-based lift, but don’t be fooled; it will get you later, and you will only feel worse. Stick to fruit juice and complex carbohydrates for ultimate hangover WIN.

A shower – if you’ve been out dancing (or whatever..) all night, this will freshen you up, especially if you take a walk too (light + fresh air = great success).

Have another beer – the “hair of the dog that bit you” seems to me to be about as pleasant an idea as stepping on an upturned plug, but some people sadly swear by it. This is only delaying the problem at best, and possibly the first sign of dependency at the worst. Avoid!

Drinking water – probably the best idea you’ve had since you decided to take that first shot of Jagermeister. A hangover can basically be summed up as residual drunkenness + dehydration + tiredness. Taken with a banana or kiwi, this is the ideal way to put one of those right.

 Painkillers – not ideal, but if you really need one, take it. While I’m giving out obvious advice, make sure it’s from the Paracetamol/Ibuprofen end of the spectrum, rather than the OxyContin/Vicodin end.

 So there you have it, the best drinking advice available. But be careful how you use it – I don’t want to catch you pissing on the Cenotaph. For further good advice, visit www.drinkaware.co.uk

“I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself. “
- Oscar Wilde

Caffeine Magazine article: Headline Puns Provoke Furrowed Brows

Headline puns provoke furrowed brows

Blank page. Check Facebook. Mike Richards likes this. Back to blank page. “Ooh, I wonder if I’ve received any good emails?”..... No. While I’m here, might as well check the news pages. No updates. Blank page. THINK! Blank page. Check Facebook. Look up some good writers, see if there’s anything I can plagiarise. Feel bad about considering cheating. BLANK PAGE. The page seems to be getting blanker, this isn’t fair! This was not in the rules! Check Facebook.

Blank page.

In case you’re confused, this is about as close as an unskilled writer like me can get to adequately describing the futility of the writing process. I’m sure many of you with reflections or lab reports due anytime between now and forever will no doubt identify with a seemingly ubiquitous pattern—that of the symbiotic relationship between the blank page and the work avoidance strategy.

Making cups of tea (or coffee if you’re incessantly european), “checking” Facebook (presumably in case it’s gone anywhere), textnig your mates, calling your mates, doing your laundry, cutting your nails, watching that hilarious cat video on YouTube (OMG SO FUNNY!!!!!! LOL), and while I think about it I really could do with getting another set of keys cut. All valid, tried –and-tested bona fide genuine work avoidance techniques, whose use I heartily endorse.

But ultimately, these techniques are inherently flawed, in that they will not get the job done. So how to overcome the writer’s block that plagues even the best of us from time to time?

There are two schools of thought: the first involves discipline, concentration and application. The other is the skiver’s way. This way is high-risk, but also high-reward, as the reward is lots of free time to do fun stuff!

There are myriad short-cuts, ploys, schemes, and machinations to help you flesh out a blank page. The first is to use a farcical amount of synonyms—free words! Also you can use words that are different but mean the same thing, and use them all in a row so that where you would have used one word, you can use five!

You can also make the same point twice, and make it look like you’re either making it simpler for the fans of “plain speaking” out there, or you can word it slightly differently to appeal to another demographic. If you are particularly skilled in this you can get two paragraphs for the price of one!

If you’re approximately halfway through a piece of writing and feels like it’s lacking a bit of punch, put in some made-up statistics. In fact, a recent study by the Ofcom found that 98.7% of all British newspaper articles contain misrepresented statements or simply ouright lies, often in the form of statistics. Be careful with this, though, as coursework requires that you reference your facts, whereas some magazine printed by the SU isn’t nearly as careful with the fact-checking.

Another good way to chew up some space is to write in a larger font or simply double space everything you write. A word of warning, though: this will flummox only the

least experienced of markers, so use this one only if you

are really desperately out of inspiration!

Essentially, these tactics serve a purpose, but will get you nowhere in the long run. All that will be left is a bunch of wasted words on a useless bit of paper with no meaning attached to them that anyone with the misfortune of reading will regret immediately, possibly pausing to reflect on what noble endeavour could have bee undertaken in that lost ten minutes of their life; before either covering your “fiasco de resistance” in red pen, or replacing their coffee mug on top of it (depending on context, of course). But hey, your clinic reflection was in on time.

There is a secret third way: getting a deadline. I think the complex psychology involved in this is put best by Charlie Brooker:

“Just pay someone larger than you to kick your knees until they fold the wrong way if you don't hand in 800 words by five o'clock. You'll be amazed at what comes out.”

Well said Mr Brooker. And just like that, suddenly the page is nowhere near as blank as it was.

Callum's Prank emails (December 2009)

Callum Forrest well and truly merked me the other day but it was funny so I don't mind. Anyway thought everyone should see Callum's comedy skills (cos chick only want boyfriends that have great skills) in full. Here are the emails:

From: RichardsM
Sent: 7 December 2009 13:56
To: allundergrads
Subject: EXAMS!!

Hello

My name is Mike and I am in year 3. I am offering revision classes for those of you in Ext year and year1 in Histopathology, radiography and physiology. I did really well in those exams. I got 58% in histo, 62% in radiography and 47% in physiology (pass). I am free every evening and most afternoons. I also am offering revision sessions in massage. This is for ext year ONLY! I am widely regarded as the best massager in my year and would be happy to help. Feel free to txt or call me any time day or night on 07920143180. I really look forward to sharing my knowledge with you all.

Thanks Friends

Mike


From: RichardsM
Sent: 07 December 2009 14:08
To: year2
Subject: Project proposal

Hi Guys

My name is mike and I am in year 3. I know at this time of year you have to start thinking about project titles. I am regarded as a bit of a project Guru. I would love to help you guys out if you like. We could get a coffee or baked treat and thrash out some ideas. I work better in my bedroom but would work in the refectory if you buy the coffee ;). Please call me or reply to his email. I love to help my friends. You can also add me on facebook..

Thanks Friends

Mike


From: RichardsM
Sent: 07 December 2009 14:14
To: allstaff
Subject: Handy Man!

Dear Staff

My name is Mike and I am in year 3. I would like to offer my services as a ‘handy Man’ during the weekends. I have extensive training in putting up shelves and am currently doing my white washing course. I am very affordable £20-£25 per hour. If your interetested please email me back.

Many thanks

Mike

P.s. I am not allowed to use hammers or nails for legal reasons.


From: RichardsM
Sent: 07 December 2009 14:03
To: AECCRunningClub
Subject: Hi Friends

Hello

My name is Mike and I am in year 3. I go running all the time and am often seen running too and from lectures. I train all the time running up and down the stairs of my house and am probably the best in the college. I would love to offer my services and take a couple of sessions for you guys. My motto is "if you aint running your probably just walking". Get back in touch if this interests you.

Thanks Friends

Mike 

Male Grooming Focus Group (Mar 2011)

Our friend Josh Conlay decided to hold a Focus Group relating to the use of humour in the marketing of male grooming products with five idiots, then type up the conversation, partly for the benefit of his course, partly for the laffs. Because it produced many laffs, thought I'd share it.

Start by playing video of David Mitchell on male grooming-bulldog products.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qph0io5oBMk

Josh Conlay-Well that should basically introduce you guys to the subject we will be covering today, male grooming products and the industry using humour to try and make it a little for acceptable and to persuade you guys to buy their products. If we can start by going around the room and introducing ourselves and saying how old we are.

Struan Brown-21

Matt Bateman- 25

Mike Richards- 25

Callum Forrest- 23

Allan Ryan- 27

JC- What do you guys consider when thinking about male grooming products? Is it more than just shaving? Is it moisturisers or hair products?

SB- Men using moisturisers is weird.....its unacceptable

(Laughter all round)

SB- and some use fake tan...

(More laughter)

AR- Male grooming, I think its anything above and beyond hair stuff really

JC- Any hair stuff? So any body hair control is fine?

MR- Err yeh I’d go with that

(Callum Forrest Agrees)

MB- What shaving leg hair, chest hair

MR- Yeh I guess not, Legs not so much

AR- For me, anything above wax, pomade, anything like that for your head hair, I think beyond that is male grooming

JC- What regular male grooming products do you all buy? Or have bought in the past.

SB- I use a razor, which is apparently male grooming according to David Mitchell, but I don’t think so. I use it to cut my

own hair.

JC- so you don’t choose a specific male shower gel or shampoo?

SB-No just whatever is on offer

(Callum Forest agrees)

(Laughter all round)

SB- I go for a manly one that’s on offer

(More laughter)

JC- A manly one?

SB- I couldn’t use even the mint one, Original source Mint

JC- but that does feel quite weird on your balls, especially if you risk a peel back.

(Laughter)

JC- OK cool that’s fine, are you guys aware of any recent adverts that brands have come out with that were supposed to be funny and aimed to change your mind?

AR- I remember the most recent Lynx one, the one with the angels dropping out the sky, and erm the Gillette one with Johnny Wilkinson which was just pff...

MR-(scratches his head) the one that stands out for me trying to change your mind if you like, in my mind you know are accepted but err was the moisturiser one with Gerard Buttler that came out recently, were he’s .....

CF-Yeh

MR- He’s playing rugby, and then he’s jumping out of a helicopter, and then he’s just roughly taking a girl.........

(Sarcastically) and it’s all because he uses moisturiser....what next?

JC- so its quite tongue in cheek, it’s supposed to be humorous and light hearted. OK great. If I show you all some adverts, I am going to ask you what you think about them, whether you think they are generally funny, if you like them and whether they would make you seek out that product on a store shelf. You may well have seen a few of these, but here we go.

Ad1- Old Spice http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtF13U5t8xE

JC- Any thoughts?

SB- That was unfortunately American

(Stifled laughter)

AR- it’s kind of funny though

CF- the whole point is laughing at the whole concept of male grooming, like the adverts before that

AR- But its still old spice

(All agree)

AR- they’ve still got a long way to go in rebranding before anyone under the age of (pauses for consideration) 55 buys it

JC- I think their sales would argue otherwise

AR- Yeh?

JC- Because they brought these out last year for the Super Bowl, and because they were such a success they basically had the guy in the ads, in a bathroom topless with a camera like this making video responses live to people tweets and online comments. And their sales have gone up by 107%

AR- Is that in the states?

JC- Globally

CF- We’ve got an aging population, so that could err effect things quite a lot

(Laughter)

JC- OK, maybe we should try another advert

MR- With fragrance stuff, I think the humour doesn’t really effect it, either it will smell really nice, well not like flowery, but like, ok yeh I’d quite like to smell like that. Or it will be the brand that doesn’t appeal to me, like Old spice

AR- This might be a bit of a stereotype, but I get my Girlfriend to buy, well I don’t get her to buy me stuff but she buys the stuff. It’s not something I, especially fragrances, think about

MR- I’ve got two, and I am sort of scared to try new ones

(Laughter)

MR- In case people don’t like them

AR- They’ve obviously worked really well

(More laughter)

AR- I think though that, that mainly is a point, but I’m pretty lazy when it comes to stuff like that.

CF- ‘Cos I get mine for Christmas, and I always get a couple for Christmas, and I never, well that will last me the year then, so I never need to by stuff, so in a way that advertising is probably more targeted at women than men

JC-Yeh?

CF- Which in fact is obvious as the man is saying, ‘do you want your man to smell like me’

JC- Well that was clearly an issue for them. So do you all fell that you are pretty common for most guys in the UK? Are

you a fair representation? Because I know a lot of younger Lads that have definitely got different opinions and are very

into/open about male grooming, even straightening their hair and plucking their eyebrows

SB- I’ve heard of boys straightening their hair

MR- I get the feeling we are a dying breed

JC- What of real men

(Laughter all round)

SB- Of actual men

MR- Well no, but I think its becoming more sociable

MB- More socially acceptable you mean

MR- Yeh in like fashion and that

JC- Have you all seen the use of male grooming products creeping into the rugby changing room over the last few years.

All- definitely yeh

SB- Johnny Collar has crept into the changing room

JC- I know for sure that it is more of an acceptable thing in the southern hemisphere, oz, nz and SA. Do you think that maybe with he influx of players from there its is becoming ‘more ok’, especially island players?

All-Yeh

Ad 2- Lynx http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMIeqH988Kg

(MB taps the desk, CF sucks his finger)

JC- That advert- funny in any way?

All- No not really

MB- I don’t get it, how does a fragrance change.

JC- this was an issue for the agency that were in charge of the campaign, they did so much extra and work on line but essentially it did not smell very nice.

MR- yeh that’s the trouble with Lynx

AR- It’s typical of a Lynx advert; you can tell it is a Lynx advert. In that respect for branding, I suppose it’s a continuation of the brand. But it doesn’t do it for me

MB- Well that is it isn’t it, Lynx is everywhere. So any where you go, if you see the black bottles of something or other in a supermarket, you think right that’s Lynx, and I still will always and just go and pick up that can of Lynx Africa and put that one in there

(Laughter all round)

MB- Because some ones given it to me once, and if I need it I know that I’ll have that one

MR- And you managed to finger a girl in the park when you was 13

MB- And that was all down to my Africa (Laughter) and I agree with you Callum, if someone buys you something the you just use because its well been given to you, and when you go out and buy it you buy the same one you’ve always had

MR- When it comes to deodorants and body sprays etc, I am more concerned about not stinking of sweat than smelling nice

(Callum Forest agrees)

SB- Yeh you’re not using the spray to attract women

CR- that should be their tag line ‘we will stop you honking of sweat’

(Raucous chatter about Mike Richards’ womanizing skills- now back to the advert)

MR- But that’s clearly not aimed at me because i will never ever look like the guy in the advert

SB- That’s a fair point actually

MR- Because in any of those three incarnations, I will never look like that bloke, so its, its err, (sarcastic sigh)

JC- But would you want too? Is there any outfit or look that that guy went for in that ad that appeals to you?

AR- (sheepishly) I want a cowboy hat

(Laughter)

AR- She was quite hot though

MR- He’s done well for him self

MB- Lynx adverts usually have good looking women

SB- well that's the point isn’t it, that your trying to get a good looking woman, and Lynx will make it happen

AR- Its like only 13 yr old boys will fall for it and only 13 yr old boys will buy it

CF- And matt

AR- It’s so blunt that it loses appeal

MR- It’s like an elicit copy of FHM that ahs been handed round the classroom at school

SB- Thanks Mike

Ad 3- Nivea http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YxGKnm_rL8

AR- is that serious?

(Laughter)

MR- If that's got any humour in it, then its to subtle for me

JC- Do you not think though because its serious for the majority of it, your not sure its a joke, and is it a joke?

MR- I don’t think it’s a joke, well....

AR- I think it’s a joke

MR- Is that on TV or is it viral?

JC- Viral

MR- Hmm viral, I wouldn’t be convinced that that is a joke

(Pause as group ponders)

JC-Really?

SB- (Confirms) it’s very subtle

(Callum Forest practices the various shaving techniques on his T-shirt)

MR- If it is a joke, who is the joke on?

JC- It’s not a joke on someone, its just silly nonsense

CF- Its one of those things that you think, oh HA, then when you get home you.... (Has another practice at the shaving

techniques)

JC- I think what it has gone against is the fact that Wilkinson sword brought out an instructional video on the perfect shave that was deadly serious and did not spread as a viral, so this is Nivea’s rebuttal, showing you how to shave you whole body.

SB- Ah OK

JC- Which leads on to this Advert, and I will let you decide if you think it is an advert.....

Ad 4- Wilkinson Groin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcyezJsF6Co

AR- I hate him

(Laughter)

SB- That was just weird. Americans trying to be comical

(Laughter)

SB- They’re not funny.....as a nation they are not particularly funny. Americans go for very straight comedy rather than

sort of.........

MB- Wit

SB- Yeh, like that Lynx, I mean Specsavers advert. With the guy spraying and all the women around him and that and he puts his glasses on then you get the tagline, should’ve gone....... that's a brilliant advert.

AR- Probably the best male grooming advert around, even though its not

SB- Well yeh, as it was funny because you didn’t expect that to happen

MR- I think I actually switched off for that advert for so long that it took me months to realize it wasn’t a Lynx ad. I didn’t know it was Specsavers for ages. But That (refers to the 4th ad) get it off my internet

AR- Hate it

MR- I don’t care if they (Wilkinson sword) had anything to do with it

MB- That's not an advert though

JC- Is it?

MB- Well is it?

JC- Up to you

MB- No....................So....right.....so why did you show us that?

(Laughter all round)

JC- That's the point though, is it in advert?

MB- NO

MR- Apart from the subtle ‘here’s my Wilkinson sword gel and razor’

MB- Why did we just watch that?

MR- You do know what this is don’t you (points to room of men aka focus group)

SB- Not all adverts are.... ‘This is an advert’ in between TV shows, they can be things like this (points at screen) Here is

my Gillette Fusion gel and razor (laughs) they’re really good!

MR-I’m really stacked and good looking, people use these products in the shower!

AR- Now lets put some mints in some diet coke. Pretty much internet isn’t it these days?

JC- So even with the casual product placement, still no positive reaction to that?

MR- No it still feels a bit shoe horned

JC- So you don’t want your products to mess around, you want them to tell you what they do, no spicy language, just function, cost etc

MR-If you’re going to be funny, be blatant.

AR- For me, I’m not so keen on adverts, I like branding, sort of what the thing looks like, not too poncy, something quite

clinical, quite plain

(Laughter)

AR- And this is what you get (points at himself)

(More Laughter)

AR- I guess a lot of this stuff is not aimed for me, as I am not usually into my image

MR- Yeh me either

JC- Well that's the crucial thing, actually you are, because its not the boys that are already using these kinds of

products that they are focussing on as they already have ‘their’ money. That's why I was quite keen to try and find a group of people that don’t use much.......

All- (Laughter) Cheers mate

JC- So just to finish off, any products that you use, or should I say, any favourite products

SB- Favourite products? Not really

JC- Not one?

MR- Toothpaste

CF- Well you know, my hair stuff that I use, I use the same stuff, and I’ve never seen an advert, and I use it because I used it once and it worked and it’s easy to get, every time I go to the Barbers I think fuck it, I better have one of those

JC- Which is?

CF- That fudge stuff

AR- That smells nice

CF- My hair? Thanks. Yeh matt head fudge I think it’s called, but I have never seen an advert for it any where on the telly

JC- No they do, they sponsor a few TV shows on T4, and do print ads etc so in magazines and obviously banner advertising in supermarkets and salons. But I am guessing that is just a really strong brand presence for you as you trust your barber and if he uses it on your head you will buy it?

CF- Yeh

MR- I really like sure for men stuff, because in my experience of antiperspirant it keeps you dry better than anything

else really

SB- What I dislike about those adverts is how they constantly talk about how they stop white marks....which I have never found to be an issue.

MB- And it doesn’t smell nice, it doesn’t smell of anything, just clean and keeps you dry...well

CF- It’s no Lynx Africa

MB- you’re right, it’s no Lynx Africa, that's why I pop my Sure on, then put my T-shirt on and spray my Africa on underneath it

MR- you make a cloud of it, and then walk in to it

AR- I use err Sanex shower gel, again it’s that clinical quality product that looks nice and smells alright

(All agree)

JC- So, pretty much as a group, you want a quality product that you can trust, something you could lend to your Dad

without embarrassment

MB- And don’t waste money making it expensive on packaging and all that shit- make it  good and cheap

MR- Just give me something that I want

CF- I think from what Allan has said and what all you boys have said, its more about how we have solved the problem in the past, see if Sure man has your trust, even if they bought out an ad I hated, I’d still buy Sure man, Or if another

company bought out and advert I loved, I’d still buy Sure man because I’ve tried it and I’m used to it and I know its reliable. So I don’t think in that respect I am that influenced by advertising.

MR- Yeh I think that's sort of the trouble with those Nivea ads and that Gillette Bull is that it’s not conferring any usefulness or trust in the product

JC- And it’s not an issue, as the issues has already been covered by previous products?

AR- It’s not something that crosses my mind to be honest when I am in a supermarket, I think right, that deodorant works, its here, I like it, I’ll keep going with it...until I have a problem nothing will change that.

MR- I’m not convinced girls are fussed about me having a shaved chest. Not from much experience, but I see no need to shave my chest.

JC- I think they were more making a joke on Wilkinson swords behalf and getting product placement rather than actually telling you to shave you chest but that is of course only my opinion....

JC- Does anyone remember an advert that is a few years old, that involved a girl lighting a safety match off her armpit because the mans face was too smooth? Also it was British.... So do you think that when dealing with the British Market they should make a stronger effort to stick with British advertising agencies?

AR- Dubbed adverts? Piss off

SB- Oh yeh

AR- definitely the one thing that is going to wind me up the most is that. So you can’t be bothered to make me a proper

advert? Fuck off then! Honestly, as you can tell, I am worked up already

CF- Fuck off Febreaze

AR- It really gets me going

MR- But Febreaze works!

SB- I buy Febreaze and it’s really good

JC- So don’t dub adverts?

AR- No give me a proper homemade one please.... (Laugher) And then I’ll ignore it

(Callum Forest’ phone goes off)

Team discuss language screw ups and all hope is lost........